This Moment In Time
I remember being 28 in 2001, eight months pregnant with a little boy. As I was waiting at the lab for blood work to be drawn, a young mother of three spoke desperately out into the waiting room. “Please stop staring at my son, he can’t help it. He’s autistic,” she said as she lovingly pulled the big boy out from under the chairs.
I never thought that small moment in time would stay with me forever. I didn’t know what autism meant but it wasn’t long before I understood firsthand. Ryan was my first child. I had no “typical” example first before him but I still felt something wasn’t exactly right during his development. By 18 months he was diagnosed with autism.
Six years later, pregnant and having my twelve week ultrasound, I saw I was carrying baby boy two. My heart came into my throat. I knew it, at that very moment I knew. I held on to hope for many months…not for me…for him. At 19 months my son Mikey was also diagnosed with autism.
My life has been forever changed. I have found beauty in so many little things that I normally would have taken for granted. From the sound of a buzzing florescent light bulb to the consistency of different pages of a magazine. The ability to look through my boys’ eyes without judgment of the world. I can’t express how autism has changed my life in such a wonderful way. At this moment in time I would give it all back for my boys to be considered “typical” in this (at times) cruel social network of humanity.
Signed by Mommy’s Heart