Do Children of Legal Age Have the Right to Disrespect Their Parents?
Commenters are having a raging debate on Mumsnet over the post of one stepmother about her stepdaughter’s disrespectful attitude toward her and her bio dad!
Posting under the username ponamo8127, OP related the following:
“SD is almost 18, lives with us full time and has been in a relationship with a boy, 18, for a few months. Me and DH let him stay over a few times if they had plans the next day which involved them getting up early, but have made them sleep in a seperate room. This didn’t work, and he’d gone into SD’s room in the night, so we stopped him staying altogether.”
However, according to OP, her SD has been bringing her bf back home with her. And one evening, they caught them together and told her SD that her bf could not stay. However, she made an excuse for him with them ending up in her bed all day.”
“So not to drip-feed, we don’t like the bf, as he’s unemployed, smokes weed often (can usually smell it on him) and seems to be lazy, but we haven’t said anything to SD, as he lives alone, so she could quite possibly go and live with him, which we don’t want,” said OP at the end of her post. AIBU?”
Is she being unreasonable? That question sparked the debate, with some parents agreeing with OP and calling her SD’s behavior disrespectful, while others question OP’s old-fashioned principles.
One Mumsnet commenter responded, “YANBU. If she can’t be trusted, then take her key from her. She’s disrespectful.”
Another parent supported her: “My daughter has just got her first boyf, she’s just 19. She met his Mum and stayed over the same night and has stayed there 3 nights since. I am not ok with this and will be speaking to her about the timeframe. I think it is irresponsible of his mother to be condoning rushing into sleeping with each other. I may be old fashioned, but there is absolutely no way he will ever be staying! I feel your frustration!”
But this woman contradicted her: “That seems a bit OTT (over the top), no? She’s an adult, so it’s none of your business if she wants to stay somewhere else. And her sex life definitely isn’t any of your business!”
This commenter shares her liberal views: “I’ve never understood the need to separate two 18 YOs from sleeping in the same bed under your roof.”
Meanwhile, this person based judgment on a boyfriend’s character. “If it was a boyfriend that you liked and got on with, I would say you are unreasonable to keep them separate when over the age of consent. However, you are completely entitled to refuse entry to your home to anyone you don’t like. I would not want the smell of weed in my home, so he wouldn’t be through the front door!”
What do you think? Would you grant your kid who’s still dependent on you the freedom to do whatever she wants with a guy at your own home, knowing she may be of legal age already but still lacks the wisdom required to grow up into a successful, responsible, and compassionate individual?
