After an incident involving her son and some school bullies, a mom reached out to users on Reddit for advice.
Redditor /Worried-Watch posted that her nine-year-old son, who has autism, had a birthday party that ended badly. School policy for his grade is that the entire class has to be invited to all birthday parties.
The problem is, her son was being bullied by three boys in his class.
So /Worried-Watch contacted the mothers of each of the three boys before the party. She let them know what was going on and asked them to talk to their sons before the party so that the celebration would happen without incident.
“When I got the RSVPs I called the mums and basically said, ‘So your kid has a problem with my kid. Here’s what my son told me. Can you talk to your kid before the party because I don’t want my son upset on his birthday,'” she wrote.
Two of the three mothers responded along the lines of, “Oh my god I’m so sorry I’ll talk to my kid ASAP.”
But the third mom was sure that /Worried-Watch had the wrong kid. Her son couldn’t possibly be a bully. /Worried-Watch assured her it was definitely her son, and so the reluctant mother said she’d talk to him.
The day of the party rolled around, and the three bullies all came. Within a half hour of the party starting, they had gathered around the birthday boy. /Worried-Watch saw this and observed them, wondering if perhaps they were apologizing. The ringleader appeared to be the boy whose mom had denied he was a bully.
But then, /Worried-Watch saw her son begin to cry.
“I go over to the parents who’d stayed behind and said if any of them are the parents of those 3 then take your kid and leave,” she wrote, adding, “This was not in front of the kids.”
Two of the parents left right away and told /Worried-Watch that their sons would be grounded.
“The defensive mum also left but not before calling my son a r*tard and saying her kid didn’t want to come anyway,” she wrote.
The next day when her son was at school, /Worried-Watch got a phone call from his teacher during a break. She was expecting the teacher to tell her that they were working to resolve the problem with her son’s bullies, that the other moms wanted to set up a meeting to discuss what happened.
Not so much.
Instead, the teacher reprimanded the mother for kicking the three kids out of her son’s birthday party and reminded her of the “invite all” policy. When /Worried-Watch explained that she told the kids and their parents to leave because they were bullying her child, the teacher didn’t think that was valid.
“And you as an adult felt the appropriate response was to bully them?” the teacher said.
The mom held her ground and told the teacher that since the kids made her son cry, she felt it was appropriate to ask them to leave.
The teacher responded that she shouldn’t be surprised when her son is excluded for something.
The mom reached out to Reddit for advice about going to the headteacher about the bullying and the teacher’s response. The mom is a teacher herself, in an older grade level at a different school.
“We don’t have the invite all rule but I’ve still had to deal with my fair share of entitled parents,” she wrote. “However if I spoke to any parent like that I’d be out of a job, so I am genuinely unsure about my next move.”
The mom ultimately decided to talk to the headteacher.
“I kept my cool,” she wrote in an update to her original post. “He said that what she’d said was unacceptable and he’d talk to her. And I have a meeting with him, the teacher and the mother of the other boy [to] deal with this.”Whizzco